The stress of not knowing what's going on inside you might be making your stress worse than it needs to be.
Let that sink in for a moment.
I am absolutely floored by the number of people who tell me they've been in therapy for years, and no one has ever explained in depth what stress physiologically does to their bodies.
That's not just a fail. It's a catastrophic oversight.
Now, let me be crystal clear: I'm not bashing therapists. I'm a staunch advocate for therapy and wholeheartedly encourage anyone struggling mentally or emotionally to find a good therapist. That support is invaluable.
But here's the problem: when people don't realize that stress is actually a sign their bodies are WORKING PROPERLY, they can spiral into an emotional abyss that not only hurts them but prolongs their journey back to stability.
Just this past week, I witnessed this phenomenon yet again while running a mental health session during a 2-day event to support executives through job/career transition.
Several participants were stuck in that no-man's-land between running on autopilot and total burnout. They were numb, constantly on a hamster wheel of self-beat-up, feeling like they “should” be further along or able to take on more.
Some hadn't given themselves a break in years - hell, maybe even decades.
And you know what? None of them had received a clear explanation about why they struggled with focus and/or emotional regulation during stressful periods. The crucial link between their stress and its physiological impacts had been overlooked or under-explained.
* 𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘮𝘺𝘨𝘥𝘢𝘭𝘢. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵-𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴, 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴.
* 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 "𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭" 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘯-𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥. 𝘚𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘴.
Here's the truth: Your body's stress response is NOT a malfunction. It's a logical, evolutionarily-honed system trying to protect you. Yes, chronic stress can be damaging, but your body is working exactly as it should. You're not broken. You're not illogical.
You're human.
I believe we owe it to our clients and those we serve to share information that can help them ease up on themselves and stop feeling like damaged goods. They need to understand that their bodies are magnificent, not malicious. And we must convey this in a way they can UNDERSTAND and act on.
That's why, instead of jumping straight to stress management techniques, I believe it's crucial to first explain how our systems respond to stress and why they respond the way they do.
Only when we grasp the 'why' can we truly tackle the 'how'. Clients need to know why their responses are actually a GOOD thing (if their bodies didn't respond to threats to their safety, they'd already be dead, for example).
It's high time we started treating people as whole beings, not just a collection of symptoms to be managed. We need to support them to see the incredible wisdom of their bodies, even in times of stress.
This isn't just my two cents. It's a call to action for all of us in professions that directly work with stress.
Because when people understand their stress, they can work with it, not against it.
And that, my friends, is the first step towards true healing and growth.
Xo
Coach Anna Lang
The Permission To Shift HUB is a safe space where you can learn the physiology behind stress and dial in the 6 essential Keys you need to be able to work with and transform it. You can check it out here: bit.ly/shiftHUB
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