I was talking to one of my fellow employees recently, and something came up that genuinely surprised me. They were having a hard time setting goals for themselves. This wasn’t because they were unmotivated, they didn’t care about their work, or because they lacked ambition. Rather, it was because the work they were doing did not feel easily measurable. A lot of it involved clients. A lot of it depended on other people. A lot of it had unknowns. A lot of it required collaboration, feedback,...

When I was 33, I began introducing myself as Anna . I offered a polite fiction along with it: It’s the nickname I’ve always used. Any followup questions were answered with just enough vague truth to satisfy curiosity and then we would all return to whatever we had been doing before. The small story kept everyone comfortable, which was exactly why I told it—because I still doubted I had the right, or the power, to insist on the truth. I’m 48 now, and no longer need that story. I chose Anna...

For many of us, our inner critic feels like an inescapable presence—a voice that replays our mistakes, points out our flaws, and seems determined to keep us small. It’s relentless, unforgiving, and often exhausting. For the longest time, my inner critic ruled my life. After any social gathering, I would come home and immediately start replaying every detail. Every word I said, every movement I made, every gesture and tone of voice—it was all subject to the relentless scrutiny of this inner...